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Well, My parents haven't really gotten along all that well for the past year and a half or so, and my mom is REALLY depressed now. she comes out at midnight every night, and cries on the porch, and my father can't gain the courage to talk to her. my dad has never been there for the family, and as a child he was the only role model i had. now, noone is my role model. We received some bad news a few days ago from the military. my dad is at the highest rank he can get to in the army as a medic, since he did not go to college when he joined, so i think he has his E9 by now, but he is higher than a master Sargent. He received a message saying that he is now on official stand-by to go to Afghanistan on the front lines with his new squad which hasn't gone yet. his other squad had already gone without him because of the switch, and most of his friends are dead now, or severely injured. my mom told my older brother that she hopes my dad gets sent to the war, because she needs some time to think about all her problems and whats been going on in the past years. my dad has a bad history, which i can't really discuss with people I don't know, so that is out of the picture. my mom is on the verge of actually killing herself, and the only thing stopping her, is the anti-depressants. I don't know what I can do to make things the slight bit better, but nothing seems to pertain to controlling the emotions running through my household. I had always known this day would come, and I've always sought out a way to deal with it. those days are gone, and my family is in a dire crisis. i feel as though me and my brothers are going to be left by my dad, and that his chance of dying is very little, but we are not sure how he would manage on the front lines. my dad is a cop, detective, part time swat, and a medic. he is one of the best shots in the whole entire police force here, and is the best shooter in his new squad in the military. if he dies, we may reap in benefit, but we may also reap in depression. i just need some advice to calm down my nerves, and to get my mom back on her feet again. before something bad happens to one of us. i just.... need someone to talk to at this moment on the issue. try not to lock this topic please, i feel a need to get this discussion flowing.

Therapy maybe for the problems between your parents... For the depression thing maybe too.... As for your dad, I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry he has to go to Iraq...

So let me see here...

Mother: Depressed and Suicidal. Isn't getting along well with father ( because?)

Father: Skilled at Helping others but not him self.

Yes?

I can't really put this without sounding like an ass, but here goes.

Get your ass off your computer, talking to kids on an interenet forum... and go spend some quality time with your mom. Do something about it. If your mom's not happy, she should get a divorce.

well for one
your mom needs someone to talk to
two you dad sounds like he needs to grow some balls and say something to you mom
so it seems like u need to talk to both of em and try to get them talking to each other again
that would help tremendously

well, they've already tried therapy, and my father doesn't believe in that kidn of stuff, so he tries to act like his father. his dad was VERY abusive, yet most peoples dads were as well, so you shouldn't really care for that. I am very good at discussing these things with my parents, and i've tried so hard to help my mom through this, but she just can't give in. the last thing my parents want is a divorce. it may be the route we take in the end after my mom finishes med school, which is what she told me. but i'm not ready for it. if my dad either dies or gets a divorce, so much will happen that can lead to even worse problems.

Xiion wrote: so he tries to act like his father. his dad was VERY abusive, yet most peoples dads were as well, so you shouldn't really care for that.

Most dad's were abusive?
ive not met a single father [talking about friends fathers here] who abusive unless they've got serious mental issues...
looks like your parents need to sit down and talk communication is no doubt a large portion of the problem and if your dad goes away all chances of communication are out the window get your parents to sit down and just talk.

I think he means his Father's Father.


On Topic. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles at home. Maybe you can help out your Mom more? Do things that make her happy?

HPDarkness1 wrote:I think he means his Father's Father.

Doesn't matter, seems fathers back then were more parenting than some people who are becoming fathers now [20-32yro's]
sure may have been corporal punishment but at least the fathers cared these days you see people becoming parents in their teens and they dont give a monkeys elbow perfect example of this was when i was in college a guy called mat poulton had like 4 kids and decided he wanted to have nothing to do with em.

All of you need to see a psychiatrist. He or she can prescribe some medicine to make it better.

Pressure a Divorce. I swear, it was one of the better decisions of my life. When My parents split, all of these opportunities popped up. I suggest living with the more stable one, and always. ALWAYS Look out for the "Upgrade" Spouse.

iGeo wrote:I can't really put this without sounding like an ass, but here goes.

Get your ass off your computer, talking to kids on an interenet forum... and go spend some quality time with your mom. Do something about it. If your mom's not happy, she should get a divorce.

i dont agree with the divorce but the rest is probally the best you can do.