Mr. T
Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 6:57 pm
A while back, somebody made a post for Chuck Norris jokes. But what about the other icon of the 80's, mr. T???
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T's anger broke every bone in Sly's face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he shits his pants at the mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr. T once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Mr. T was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
A break in the space-time continuum occurred on July 9th, 1986. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy into Mr. T while he was pitying some fool. Mr. T and Chuck Norris had words (better known as jibba jabba). Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the exact moment Mr. T punched him in the chest. The result was an alternate universe where Mr. T roundhouse kicks people and Chuck Norris pities fools.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T pities the fool who doesn't pity the fool, thus creating a neverending loop of pity and pain.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T does not have to kick the crap out of you, crap runs out of your ass in fright when you come into contact with Mr. T.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
If you look up "Pity" in the dictionary, there's a picture of mr. T there to pity you for not knowing.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T's anger broke every bone in Sly's face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he shits his pants at the mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr. T once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Mr. T was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
A break in the space-time continuum occurred on July 9th, 1986. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy into Mr. T while he was pitying some fool. Mr. T and Chuck Norris had words (better known as jibba jabba). Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the exact moment Mr. T punched him in the chest. The result was an alternate universe where Mr. T roundhouse kicks people and Chuck Norris pities fools.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T pities the fool who doesn't pity the fool, thus creating a neverending loop of pity and pain.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T does not have to kick the crap out of you, crap runs out of your ass in fright when you come into contact with Mr. T.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
If you look up "Pity" in the dictionary, there's a picture of mr. T there to pity you for not knowing.
